And I used to think they were coming from outer space. Often their interpretation of safety was and still is, very different from mine. To many their homes as they were growing were safe places to be. Mine not so much. I used to disconnect my thoughts or mind from my body in order to escape. Whilst being abused, I used to travel to the stars. Always I buried myself in books; other worlds, the wardrobe, neighbors houses, any where, so as not to be at home, or in my body.
It was through burying myself in books that I came to appreciate just how special I am, and what gifts I was blessed with and to develop my own definition of safety.
Not all experiences are pleasant for the soul and indeed childhood abuse is the most painful form because it took us away from learning the things a child is supposed to learn, yet it teaches many different things.
When abused and your personal space is violated, the physical and emotional trauma a young body goes through at the hands of an adult, are extreme and the stress responses, as you know, leave there mark upon your soul for years, affecting, not only your physical functioning but your mental processing. One of the phenomena around the abuse you may of experienced is, dissociation, the ability to mentally leave the body, . Simply, its not safe within your body- time for your mind to get out. This is something that may stay with you forever, and many will tell you it is not a good thing. Yet this survival mechanism got you through. Indeed, when working for you in a new way, it may become an invaluable tool.
The mind leaving the body is something many Swami’s and Mystical peoples have sought to do for a long time. You have trained yourself to do this naturally and with a little adjustment, so that your mind is leaving voluntarily, under your control, you may experience the transition of survival tool to thriving gift also.
The first step to doing this is in making the mind understand that the body is a safe place to be in. Until you recognize and deeply understand that your body is now back in your possession, and is as much your tool as your mind, then a tendency to harm it may continue. Self harm in order to feel. Alcohol and drugs to escape memories. Abusive relationships to perpetuate your feelings of unworthiness and shame. In order to heal and realize your true spiritual gifts, the mind must be connected to the body and you must learn that the body is a safe space, not just the environment surrounding it, but the actual body, is a safe place for the mind to be within.
A relatively quick way of placing the mind within the body is to practice something called grounding. There are many different exercises that teach a person how to ground. I have recorded one and you can find the link to it below. Grounding exercises help to calm the mind, easing the fight, flight or freeze stress mechanisms and allow the mind to experience the body, as the vessel of joy and love it is supposed to be. As in all things grounding only works if you try it. So if you are ready to try something new, come at things from a different angle, then give this little exercise a go. It is quick, under five minutes (I do quick and free really well) and you just may find grounding makes a difference.
Wishing you well upon your journey,
You are Not Broken; You are Gifted
“So Much More”